Pictures with the Profile

I got a request from a guy about a decade older than I am, and I clicked on his profile before I either accepted or denied.

He had two pictures with his profile.  The main one that everyone sees of just his face.  Dude couldn't crack a smile to save his life.  Personally, if I can't tell that you know what "fun" means, we're not going to be compatible.  I like a little humor with my man, and honestly if you can't take a joke, you can't take me out.

The other picture was of him, grim look on his face, fanning out a bunch of $10 bills.  Dear lord, it took me about 15 minutes to stop laughing.

Everything after this point should be taken with sarcasm and snark.  

I am so impressed by you waving your money in front of your face.  I know that you can buy me lots of stuff with your wad of $10 bills.  I'm always impressed with mediocrity and know that living on $10 bills or lower is just what I want as a college graduate with a full time job.

Everything after this point is to be read normally.

 Just outright saying that you should take care of what pictures you use with your dating profile.  Because you could have them made fun of here.

Upon Further Review, The Call Stands: No Goal!

"Would you consider yourself a romantic person?"

I was considering this one.  No, my first idea was to just pass this guy up based on his picture, age, and username.  Then I read his message, and considered him.
I was actually part way through a response when I got the urge to look through his profile, which isn't strange.  If they have something in common with me, I like to mention it in the response.
Instead I see this line over and over again:  I only date white girls.

Even though I don't know him, seeing this makes me think the worst that he is the worst kind of racist.  That he's not open to new people and new ideas.  And once it was "I only date sexy white girls" which means that if he met me, I would be nixed just because of my size.  Which is even less open minded because us bigger girls want the same thing as any woman:  we want to find love.

It could be possible that he has other reasons to post what he posted.  He could have different ideas of what sexy is.  But I don't know that.

So I'm sticking with my first reaction and just passing him up because Frankly, I can't give a damn about someone this closed off.

Buy one get one free!

"You must have lasers for eyes, because you just stunned me."

Hold on, I'm still cracking up about this one.  I know I said I was a geek, but this is just bad.  Like I would pour my drink on you at the bar if you used this on me bad.    Stop and learn how to talk to girls.  Because at least in my family, the lasers aren't my eyes.  Think Austin Power's FemBots.  ;)

"Hello, I'm a thief and I'm about to steal your heart."

Thanks for letting me know.  I'll let Life Alert know.  And how the hell did you get past the security check?

A Good One

"How would you describe your type?"

I love this.  It's a genuine question that can be answered shallowly by shallow people.  And if it's answered shallowly, then the person asking the question knows the shallow answer is by a shallow person.

And when they ask me, I give deep answers.  Deep answers are great because I can show that I have a brain that actually works 3 feet above my ass, not just empty space.  That I look for what's on the inside, so I look like a real person.  

Questions like this set me apart from the ditzy women who in reality get the guys at the bars.

And so you know, I responded.

User Names

Dear Lord, usernames.  I am going to be the first woman to admit that when I'm going through the interested parties on the dating sites, I will nix guys who have either unoriginal or extra cheesy usernames.

Most guys on these sites use their usernames as an extra pick up line trying to get me to answer them.  There are the unoriginal lines, as SingleAndReadyToMingle and Ready4Love.  These are just pathetic.  Extremely pathetic.

The extra cheesy variety includes such names as MisterRight and IronFootlong.  Nope nope nope nope nope.

Guys, make sure your username is somewhat normal and reflects you.  Please don't try too hard to make us look, because if you try too hard, I will look over you.